Not Really
by sueKay-04
Summary: Inspired by Ex Deux de Machina, but not related to the Episode. Possibly very mild spoilers.


Not Really…

Hey there! This was written in just over an hour on a completely sporadic whim...so don't expect much plot and/or decent characterisation.

Inspiration - Ex Deux de Machina, but no spoilers as such, and an advert for DVD rental for one line of this fic.

Regarding the odd Cam and Sam comments - complete conjecture from one of the forums I frequent!

AN - Happy Bithday Amanda Tapping, Su Freund and MajorSam! (Su...I'm updating TTR VERY soon!)

* * *

**Not Really**

"This is nice." Jack said timidly, shifting about uneasily in his over-starched, over -iron shirt.

"Yeah…It is." Sam responded, just as awkwardly.

"So…this is it…The big day…The first date…"

The pair sat quiet in the restaurant, the faint sound of music in the background, adding tension to their ill-ease.

Sam smiled. "Yeah…dates…Well…this is nice."

And so the conversation came full circle for the fourth time in as many minutes.

"Are you ready to order?" The Waitress said, dissolving some of their apprehension.

"Uh…I am!" Sam said, her nerves betraying her as her voice sounded a little too chipper. "Are you?"

"Yup…Uh…Steak pie, potatoes, mushrooms and veg."

"Same here please, but no mushrooms."

"And drinks?"

It seemed like they should be celebrating. After years of verbal foreplay and _way _too much angst, they deserved the best. But neither felt like Champagne.

"I'll have fresh orange."

"And I'll have a diet soda."

The waitress furrowed her brow at this. A nervous, well-dressed couple ordering soft drinks?

"Okay!" She smiled before walking off.

Sam watched her go, before turning to Jack.

"Orange juice?"

"I'm driving."

"What! We came here in my car…You live in DC now…You don't drive here."

"…oh." Jack said quietly, a faint rosy blush appearing on his cheeks. "I uh…I just…I forgot that I uh…"

"Yeah."

"Well y'know…"

"Yup."

"Here are your drinks." Neither noticed the waitress who quickly deposited the sugary beverages before making a hasty retreat.

"This is nice." Jack said.

"Yeah!"

"…To…us." Jack intoned, raising his glass.

"To us." Sam replied lifting her own.

They clinked their glasses together, before Sam added. "And here's to screwing the regs!"

The second 'clink' sounded slightly off, and Sam looked up at Jack's eyes. He swiftly averted his gaze, before mumbling.

"Yes…those pesky regs…uh hu."

It was Sam's turn to blush. "Oh you thought I was talking about…oh no! No! Well yeah but not right now… I mean well…uh."

"This is awkward!" Jack smiled helplessly.

"Yeah…I mean we're onto sex and our meal hasn't even arrived!" Sam giggled nervously.

"Yeah."

"Your meals." A different waitress appeared carrying both plates.

"That was quick." Jack remarked.

"Well…smiling speedy service!" She smiled, before heading off.

"Smells nice." Sam said.

"Looks nice." Jack said.

"I'm not hungry." Sam realised.

"I feel sick." Jack said, a note of worry evident in his voice.

Again, a silence enveloped them.

"We suck at this don't we?" Sam sighed.

"Yahsureyoubetcha." Jack mumbled, putting his cutlery down.

"This has turned out to be a bit of a disaster."

"Cheque please!"

* * *

Less that five minutes later, Sam and Jack were in Sam's car, heading away from the small restaurant.

"Okay…That was the briefest meal I've ever had." Jack said sounding more relaxed.

"Same here."

"Right! It's half nine…the night is young…we need a plan." Jack drummed his fingers on the dashboard.

"Yup." Sam said, turning sharply.

"Where are we going?"

"To the liquor store."

"Nice plan!"

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Sam and Jack were carrying bottles of Beer, Guiness, Southern Comfort and Jack Daniel's in Sam's front door.

"Just head on through to the kitchen." Sam instructed. "There's Coke in the fridge."

"What are you wanting?" Jack asked.

"Ehm…JDs and coke."

"Sounds good…double?"

"Sounds good!"

A few moments later, Jack appeared, carrying their drinks. They sat down on Sam's sofa while Jack looked nervously at his surroundings. Sam's silence brought him back to the present.

"Now what." He stated.

"I uh…I haven't got that far in the plan yet." Sam said sheepishly.

"Right…How's the SGC?"

"Good good…It's good." Sam smiled. "Although it is strange having Cam on the team."

"Yeah…Danny mentioned that…Said you were related."

"Cousins."

"…If it were one of my cousins on the Team…I'd be wearing one of those nice Jackets with the long sleeves you can wrap around yourself!"

Sam giggled at this. "Well…Cameron's not that bad…yet!"

After their chuckling subsided, the tension rose once more. Sam had to do something.

"DVD?"

"Yeah!"

"I just got Madagascar."

"Ooh…Nice!" Jack grinned. "I'll get it."

Jack walked over to Sam's alphabetised bookshelves, locating her DVDs. He found Madagascar before returning to where they sat.

"Crap." Jack sighed, looking at Sam's rather complicated DVD player.

In mock frustration, Sam blurted out "Just stick it in and get on with it!"

Jack burst out laughing.

"Oh god…Jack…I never though about what I was saying! It's your dirty mind!" Sam began giggling again, her face reddening.

"Oh dontcha love connotations?"

They continued giggling for another few moments before Jack managed to get the player to work.

The DVD whirred into life, and Jack returned to his perch on the sofa. Sam leaned back, curling her legs beneath herself.

* * *

After about twenty minutes, Sam became aware of a shift in Jack's position, and watched with bemused interest as he 'covertly' snaked his arm around her shoulders.

Sam let out a contented sigh, before leaning into Jack's shoulder. She could hear his heart beating - very fast.

"Hey you…calm down…I don't bite unless you want me to!" She said mischievously.

"Was that a proposition?" Jack's humour was evident in his tones.

"Mmmm…maybe…if you play your cards right."

Jack chuckled quietly, but happily, placing a tender kiss on Sam's forehead.

They both grew very quiet for a moment, looking into each other's eyes.

Sam tentatively moved closer to Jack, placing a single, feather-light kiss on Jack's mouth. Afterwards, she stopped and gauged Jack's reaction. And as Jack captured her mouth for another kiss, she let herself melt into his embrace. She felt his tongue slip past her lips and then their mouths engaged in a lazy but passionate duel. They didn't rush, exploring each other's mouths slowly and tenderly, not wanting these first intimate moments to run away.

But eventually nature won out, and they broke apart, desperate for air.

With their new breaths, the earlier tension disappeared completely, and Sam smiled up at her soon-to-be lover.

Jack began to speak. "So…ehm…thinking back to your earlier comment…do still we suck at this stuff?"

"All things considered?…Not really!"

Sam returned to her previous position, wrapping an arm around Jack's body and leaning against his chest. She felt a sudden feeling of complete happiness and realised that she was more than just content with this man…She was at peace.

* * *

Well...crappy ending...but reviews are still welcome! 


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